Humor, People

In Heaven we are all Celebrities

No Comments 20 December 2005

I personally think that heaven will be like being at the comedy club all day long.  But I seem to be alone in that belief. Barbara Walters interviewed big and small people about what they think is going to happen after death. Here is what they said:

By VIRGINIA HEFFERNAN (NYT)

‘Heaven

Humor, People

College is for Life

No Comments 10 November 2005

Everyday our brain fabricates stories for ourselves about who we are and what we should be doing with our life. Only imagine what would happen if suddenly the national media starts covering your life. Just as everyone else, your brain will feel pressure to tell different stories, stories whose plotline is driven more by what others want to hear. On the front page of today’s NY Times is one funny example. Much of the richness of the story lies between the lines.

For One Student, a College Career Becomes a Career

By SAM DILLON
WHITEWATER, Wis. - Nearly every college has some screwball who never seems to graduate, lingering year after year as classmates move on. And then there is Johnny Lechner. In his 12th year of college here, Mr. Lechner has parlayed life as perpetual student into a lucrative personal brand. His genius for self-promotion might have earned him Phi Beta Kappa - if only it had been applied to his studies. He has appeared on “Late Show” with David Letterman, “Good Morning America” and other shows, describing a roisterous campus lifestyle of beer and merrymaking. National Lampoon is promising to pay his tuition, and the makers of Monster Energy Drink deliver 30 cases a week, along with advertising posters and condoms, to the house where Mr. Lechner lives and parties, in exchange for his endorsement of Monster as “the official energy drink” of his 12th college year.

Humor, People

Attention Soccer Moms and Dads

No Comments 28 October 2005

If your son or daughter does not want to go to soccer practice today, here is an another argument you can use to convince your couch potato and possibly too intellectual child:  “Sweetie, if you become really good at soccer, you can become rich and one day even have a private meeting with the pope.” Yesterday, the Pope received Germany’s most glorious person, the former soccer player Franz Beckenbauer. Within German society he plays a unique role for an athlete. A few weeks ago, Beckenbauer turned 60 and every single German newspaper had a story congratulating the so-called “emperor” on his illustrious career that is still in full swing. Presently he is one of the chief organizers for next year’s soccer world cup in Germany. Unlike other star soccer players, Beckenbauer has turned his sport abilities into a money gold mine. The man is truly blessed by the gods. This must be the reason why our new pope received him yesterday and reportedly even held a little private audience with the star. Beckenbauer later told the press: “To talk with the pope about soccer was the most important moment in my life.” Emperor, I hate to break it to you, but your most important moment was 30 years ago when you helped Germany win the world championship in 1974! Without that glorious achievement, the pope would have asked you yesterday how you plan to go to heaven if you marry so often, all the while scoring illegitimate children.